Blindsided

It's been a few weeks since my last blog update. We have made a little progress with our new attorney, who has contacted the Successor Trustee. We are doing everything we can within the legal system to stay in the house. We don't know if somebody will serve us eviction papers or if the Trustee will work with us to let us pay the monthly expenses. The reason the Successor Trustee wants to sell the home is to settle the previously discussed debt owed to the nursing home; this is something that we have been waiting since October 2023 for the attorney of the nursing home to finish up a settlement agreement that would hold only Charles and myself responsible for the debt. The second reason is that they want Trustee Fees of over $10,000.00 paid. They also stated that we can't afford to live there, which I find ironic considering we have been living in the home for 19 years, and they have never even approached us to discuss a monthly payment amount.  It's been almost a year si

We met with an attorney yesterday, and we are going to move forward with challenging the "Order To Vacate" and have been advised to stay in the home for now while this legal process is taking place. We don't know if or how long it will be delayed and If we lose, our attorney says we would have to move. So we are looking for an independent homeowner that may be interested in renting us a house in the Raleigh area for two or three years that will let us accommodate our cats.  We are also hoping to be able to raise some funds to help us with the attorney fees, that will most likely run over $10,000.00 by the time this is over with.   Help With Attorney Fees I will be updating the blog to continue this journey because I have discovered that there are other people that have faced this same situation and I'm hoping that by reading this, others will avoid it. Please follow our blog and thank you again for your kinds words and suggestions.

The Guardian never contacted us, even after we received the official “Order” from the court in December 2022.  Meanwhile, the funds were adding up in Jean’s account with no payments being made to the nursing facility.  I called the facility in December and they wouldn’t divulge any information to me concerning Jean’s financial obligation to them, they wouldn’t even tell me if she had enough personal funds in the account for hair, nails, etc., and they had to get permission from the Guardian to tell me that.  We did not realize it at the time but the Guardian was having all Jean’s mail that was going to our address forwarded to them, so we were not seeing any bills from the nursing home, but they were and they didn’t do anything about getting them paid.   They never told us they had her mail forwarded they had absolutely no contact with us.   In early February 2023 we were served with a “Motion To Appoint Guardian Of The Estate As Trustee Of Ward’s Revocable Trust”.  We were totally BLI

In October 2022, Charles and I lost guardianship and POA over Jean.  In January 2021, in the midst of the COVID outbreak, Jean fell and broke her hip and had COVID.  Upon release from the hospital she was sent to a skilled nursing facility in Garner. NC.  The average cost of a skilled nursing facility in shared Medicaid room is about $8,000.00 per month.  Within a few days of her being admitted, we were contacted by a company that was paid by the facility to assist people in signing up for Medicaid, which she was now eligible for.   Like everyone, this was such an unknown time in our lives.  We had lost about 80% of our business and I was just finishing up three years of chemotherapy and radiation for a rare type of Lymphoma.  We were struggling financially and emotionally. Charles and I were Jean’s Guardian, POA and were Trustees of her Trust.  We are her only family, and had made decisions on her behalf for over 10 years.  We always acted with Jean’s best interest and our family in m

 Our best wishes to everyone for a happy holiday weekend.  Before we put the next post up, we are going to take the next few days to rest, reset and cherish this holiday season! We will be dining at some of our favorite restaurants and going to see The Embers Christmas Show at the Rialto Theatre Saturday night.  This may be our last Christmas in our home and we face the most difficult month ahead of us but right in this time and place we are safe.  Please keep us in your thoughts.  Happy Holidays!  Charles and Susan Murray 

About six - eight months prior to Jean going into assisted living, we started to see a  decline in her mental capacity.  We had hired aids that were with her three to four days a week and she continued to live at home until it was clearly unsafe for her to be alone.  Jean moved into assisted living in August 2011.   In a ten year period, Jean was in four different assisted living facilities.  Two in Raleigh, one in Lilington and one in Wendell.  For the first move,    Jean wanted a private apartment, and even though she had long term care, it did not last long as we were paying over $8,000.00 per month.  In addition we still paid for private care for the first year, along with medications, personal care, etc. The money she received in Social Security and Retirement were used to pay these costs.  Eventually, we had Jean move in with a roommate,  and the expense was slightly lower.  This was about the same time that Jean started getting aggressive, with staff and fellow patients at the f

In this post, I am going to briefly review the course of events from January 2005 - August 2011.  This was prior to Jean entering assisted living. From the beginning of our relationship in 2004, Jean was  very involved in our life.  She was always a very controlling woman, especially over Charles, her only son.   A lot of you don’t know this but Charles suffers from an auto immune disorder and he has been on disability since 1999.   In 2005 Charles and I decided to move in together and we rented the home we currently live in.  After a year, we all talked about the possibility of us buying a home in the North Raleigh area.  Jean wanted to make sure that Charles always had a home to live in.    After looking at several homes, we approached the owner of the home we were renting and it closed in July 2006.  Jean has a revocable living trust, and the home was put into the trust.  In part, this was what Jean thought was best to do to protect Charles, but also a way to control him.   Initiall